Social Skills and Homeschooling while Living at Home during COVID-19

The coronavirus and physical distancing measures have presented some unique challenges for all of us, but especially for autistic children, teens, and their families. In our earlier articles, we looked at some of the issues surrounding anxiety, and routines and schedules while safe at home.

In this article, we will be reflecting on some of the issues and workarounds regarding social interactions and education while we continue to enjoy our time at home as the weather heats up over the next few months.

Social Interaction Difficulties for Children and Teens

Challenges with social interactions are a common feature of autism spectrum disorder, though all children will likely encounter opportunities and challenges whether between parents, siblings, school peers, and grown ups in the community. It is important to remember that the presentation of autism can be as varied and unique as the children themselves. However, there are three main aspects of autism spectrum disorder, which vary, and these are:

Communication challenges
Persistent difficulties with social interactions
Restricted, repetitive behaviors and interests

So, some children and teens may go out of their way to avoid social interactions altogether, whilst others may struggle to understand the subtleties of language and social exchange. For example, facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice, sarcasm, ‘personal space’ boundaries, and humour can all pose a challenge for autistic kids.

Many families of autistic children rely on outside support, including coaches, therapists, family members, teachers, and friends to help improve and navigate communication and social interactions. So obviously, stay at home measures may be difficult for many parents because social interactions are reduced, environments to practice social interactions may be closed off, and their support networks not available.

Social Interaction and Specific Challenges

During these unprecedented times, parents often worry that there may be a relapse in their child’s social skills that have been so hard-won, usually over many months or even years.

For some children and teens, on the other hand, lockdown may ease the anxiety associated with school, friendships, and social interactions. However, it is important that relationships and social contact are maintained and nurtured in preparation for a return to some sort of ‘normality’ hopefully, in the not too distant future.

Some autistic children may be missing the familiar people in their lives, but are not sure how to maintain contact. Furthermore, the change in contact methods with friends, families, and schools during the home safe period also present some unique challenges.

Social Skills and Interactions

Spend one-on-one time devoted to social interactions with your child every day. This could be as simple as taking turns playing a game or watching a movie together. You can always get advice from your online therapists about methods and techniques to use at home. Alternatively, look at some online resources.
Encourage your child to stay in touch with friends and family. Often children and teens will not initiate contact with others so you may need to help organize online playdates and calls. You can speak with the parents of friends and encourage them to make the initial contact with your child. Some teens may be playing online with friends instead during this time, which should not be ignored as legitimate social contact and engagement, but may need monitoring based on your child’s digital literacy and who they are interacting with. As of this publishing, the Alberta government has begun reopening parks - make sure to stay up to date for physical distancing guidelines.
Some online mediums such as Zoom or Skype can be difficult for autistic children because they can see and hear themselves. In addition, the focus on themselves can be intense. If this is a problem, instead of using the camera on your laptop or phone, you could use an avatar or bot based on your child’s interests) for both your child and the caller. Some video calls will also allow you to hide the smaller camera that features your face, to focus on the main person speaking in the call.
Rather than intense conversations, you can help organize group online games that encourage socialization without the pressure. From a Netflix party, whereby you can watch films and series with friends, to Monopoly, Ludo, quizzes, and Scrabble. Older kids and teens are likely utilizing Discord servers, which include the custom ability to make channels and lobbies to socialize while playing video games at the same time.
Try to ensure that online social time is included in your child’s daily schedule and has a time limit. Extended online sessions may lead to difficulties.
If your child has problems speaking on the telephone or laptop you can always encourage them to type in the chatbox instead.
Internet safety is hugely important during this time for all children and teens. Ensure that you have safety measures in place and monitor online activities whenever possible.
You can take your child on a virtual tour! there are many FREE museums, social events, zoos and tourist attractions available.

Education and Homeschooling

The closing of schools has had a huge impact on most children, but particularly those with additional educational needs. Below are a few tips and suggestions that may help with these unique circumstances. Please adapt the information where possible to the specific needs of your child.

Explain the reasons for the school or education lockdown using visuals and social stories to help your child understand the changes to their daily routine.
Ensure that educational sessions are included on your child’s daily schedule. But, don’t get too focused on educational achievements or progress. During this time, your child’s happiness and well-being are equally, if not more, important.
Remember that whether or not you are teacher in your day job, go easy on yourself. Start slowly and gradually build up educational activities. Do not expect too much too soon.
Ensure that you have contact with at least one person that is involved with your child’s Individual Education Plan (IEP). Use this contact to regularly discuss your child’s successes and struggles.
This extended stay-home period is a great opportunity for you to evaluate the ability level and needs of your child. Document any findings to discuss with teachers after if and when children return to the classroom one day.
Children with online homeschool sessions may need some help to prepare for classes beforehand, such as reading an article or having a document or textbook at the ready. They may also need some physical regulation like a walk outside before their bodies and brains can settle down to learn.
For older children and teens, printing out a daily, visual timetable of online lessons may help too.
Incorporate your child’s special interests into their learning schedule where possible.
Remember that education is not just academic but covers all aspects of life. If your child is struggling to sit still, take a break to make a cake together, or do a bit of gardening. It’s all good. Homeschool in particular may have a larger emphasis on the experiential learning you can do in your community rather than satisfying classroom curriculum.

Pegs and Holes

A therapist used the metaphor of round pegs and square holes to highlight the needs of an autistic child. The round peg (the child) is not going to fit into a square hole (the environment). It is essential that the child is not ‘squared-off’ to fit, but rather the hole adapts to accommodate the peg. This is very apt, and never more so than in these unique times, to adjust and adapt the environment to fit your child’s needs, rather than the other way around.

Finally, there are many positives to be taken out of the current situation. As a parent or caregiver, you can create and control your child’s experience and education. The pressures of education are greatly reduced and your child may flourish in a more relaxed, adapted environment. Remember, an anxious or stressed child will not be as open to learning than one who is regulated and content.

Yes, you will have bad days, maybe even disastrous days, but in between times, try to see this unique period as a once in a lifetime opportunity to truly connect with the loved ones in your life.

As always, stay safe and stay strong.

References

Faras, H., Al Ateeqi, N., & Tidmarsh, L. (2010). Autism spectrum disorders. Annals of Saudi medicine, 30(4), 295–300. https://doi.org/10.4103/0256-4947.65261